Related:

• My name is Homer, and I'm just here because the courts made me come.
  -- Homer introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• Lovejoy: Homer, with our help, you'll never touch a beer again.
  Homer: Aaah! [jumps out the window] -- The Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• My name is Otto, I looove to get blotto.
  -- Otto introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• They do say, Mrs M., that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain.
  They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover....
• Wiggum: Wait a minute. If the second old geezer got shot, how come nobody reported it?
  [at the old folks home, they pound on door 26] [Jasper answers] Wiggum...
• Lovejoy: So Homer, pleas feel free to tell us anything.
  There's no judgment here. Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers....
• Homer: [expansive] So, how was everybody's day at school?
  Bart: Horrifying! Lisa: Pointless! Marge: Exhausting....
• Judge: Your license is hereby revoked, and I'd like you to attend traffic school and two months of Alc-Anon meetings.
  Homer: Your honor, I'd like that stricken from the record....
• My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!
  -- Hans Moleman introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...