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• Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose
  it's how drunk you get. -- Homer Simpson Bart Gets An Elepha...
• Bart: After breakfast, me and Milhouse are going down to the ravine.
  We got a tip from a six-year-old that there's a dead Martian down there....
• Homer: Look at these bills: chains for elephant. Shots for elephant.
  -- "Oversized decorative poncho"?! Bart: Technically it's for a giraffe, but I think I can let it out a little....
• Marty: [sheepish laughter] We appreciate you coming down, but, heh, look kid, the thing us, uh heh heh.
  ..we don't _have_ an elephant, heh heh. Bill...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Son! You're OK. [hypnotic] And you led us to the precious ivory.
  ..[affable] and, of course, your lovable pet, who it's connected to....
• Judge: Hello, Bart. Now, you do understand the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, don't you son?
  Bart: Maybe. Judge: Uh huh. Well, you wouldn't lie to the United States, would you, Bart?...
• Marge: Homer...it looks like it could gore. Homer: Heh heh.
  ..it _does_ look like Al Gore. Bart: [admiring] Ew, he smells worse than anything....
• Homer: I guess it wouldn't be right to sell Stampy after he saved my life.
  And the boy seems to have some sort of relationship with him....