Related:

• Burns: Now, let's get down to business. Homer: [thinks] Oh, man.
  I have to go to the bathroom. Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon?...
• Troy: [voiceover] A few years back, Bart was adopted by Mr.
  Burns. In this very special outtake, Homer attempts a reconciliation with his estranged son....
• Burns: Smithers, do you realize if I had died, there would be no one to carry on my legacy.
  Due to my hectic schedule and lethargic sperm, I never fathered an heir....
• Burns: Just sign here, and your son will stand to inherit my entire estate.
  Homer: Woo hoo! We're rich! Bart, get over to the mansion and open up all the windows....
• Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to go home to my family.
  Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this, but....
• Lisa: [breathlessly] Mom, Dad: Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he has Bart!
  Burns: Why, Bart is right here. Bart: [droning] Hello, Mother....
• Bart flicks a pea at Lisa] Lisa: Hey! Mom! Bart's throwing peas.
  Marge: Bart, don't throw peas at your sister. Ba...
• Burns: Who is that lavatory linksman, Smithers? Smithe
  Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7-G....
• Burns: {I don't remember writing a check for bowling.
  } Smithers: {Uh, Sir, that's a check for your _boweling_....