Related:

• Burns: Bart, I know you children see me as some sort of "booger man", but I'm really not such a bad dude.
  Oh, your milk's gone cold -- I'll ring for the maid....
• Homer: Mr. Burns, are you trying to get me drunk? Bu
  Yes. -- A brief moment of honesty from Monty Burns, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Milhouse: Cool train! Where does it go? Bart: Beats me.
  But it won't be back for three hours and forty minutes....
• Burns: Yes, by cutting off cable TV and the beer supply, I can ensure an honest winter's work out of those low-lives.
  Smithers: Sir, did you ever stop to think that [closes car trunk] maybe it was doing _this_ that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families?...
• NOOOOOOOO!! TAKE ME!! I'M OLD!! -- Mr. Burns' view of events, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca
• Lisa: [clears throat] I propose to you that your heir not need be a boy.
  In this phallocentric society of ours -- Bu...
• Burns: Heh heh, look, Smithers -- a creature of pure malevolence.
  He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat....
• Burns: Smithers, my plan worked perfectly. Bart Simpson will live here as my son, and I will mold him in my own graven image.
  Who knows -- I may even grow to...love him....
• Homer: OK, boy, I wrote down exactly what to say. Just read it and you're a shoo-in!
  Bart: [walks onstage, squints at cue cards] Hello, Mr....