Related:

• Bart: If there was some way to get rid of Flanders, would you want to come back?
  Skinner: Ehh, I must admit, I do miss the school. And frankly, the army isn't _quite_ as I remembered it -- [some recruits drive by in a tank....
• Apu: You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
  When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, But now I've come to looooooove your quirks....
• Men: [jogging] "I knew a woman in Paris, France, Had a big hole in her underpants" -- Skinne
  Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where did you pick up that filth?...
• Milhouse: Bart, look! It's Principal Skinner. And I think he's gone crazy -- he's not wearing a suit or tie or anything!
  Bart: [approaches him] Principal Skinner? Um, I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired, and biting you, and then getting it on with your leg....
• I am loathe to interrupt your meditation, sir, but the time has come for money to change hands.
  -- Apu snaps Homer out of his daze at the Kwik-E-Mart register, "Principal Charming...
• Bart: I thought I'd be jumping for joy the day Skinner got fired.
  Now all I have is this weird hot feeling in the back of my head....
• Skinner: [laughing hard] Ned Flanders actually eliminated detention and put the whole school on the honor system?
  Bart: [laughs] Yeah. And the teachers are afraid to leave the faculty lounge!...
• Colonel: It's good to have another combat veteran around here.
  I myself received a number of medals for, um, securing that Montgomery Ward in Kuwait City?...
• Skinner: Willy, go into the vent and get him. Willy
  What? Have you gone waxy in your peaster? I cannot fit in tha' wee vent, you croquet-playing mint muncher....