Related:

• Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported...
• Airplane Humor Here are some actual humorous statements by several airline flights crews.
  Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining....
• Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• Federal Aviation Administration, Washington, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• EXCERPT FROM RECENT FAA ACCIDENT REPORT EYEWITNESS STATEMENT AIRCRAFT
  CESSNA 172 PILOT: 30 YRS OLD, CFI, IR FATALITIES...
• 2) On a small commuter flight one sunny day, the captain was told his passengers were nervous about being on a "small airplane.
  He decided to take action: "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain....
• Two Polacks are drving along in their truck when the y see a pig by the side of the road.
  Well, this is pretty unusual, so they stop for a look....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....