1st man: My dog's got no nose.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: Awful.
(Traditional)
1st man: My dog's got no nose.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: You poke his eyes out.
(Mike Taylor)
1st man: My dog's got no nose.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: (Pause) ... Well, it's kind of hard to describe really.
(Mike Taylor)
1st man: My dog's got no nose.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: (Pause) ... It's OK, he has got one really.
(Andreas Pagel)
1st man: My dog's got no nose.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: (Pause) ... Oh, go and get a glass of water.
(Andy Charles, incorporating material from
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail")
1st man: My dog's got no ears.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: With his nose, obviously.
(Mike Taylor)
1st man: My dog's got no nose.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: Of his own accord.
(Trad., arr. Mike Taylor)
1st man: My dog's over thirteen billion miles long.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: Don't change the subject.
(Mike Taylor)
1st man: My dog's literally doesn't exist.
2nd man: How does he smell?
1st man: Don't ask stupid questions.
(Mike Taylor)
1st man: My wife's gone to the West Indies.
2nd man: How does she smell?
1st man: When it's ajar.
(Trad., arr. Mike Taylor)
1st man: How do you make a Venetian Urn?
2nd man: I don't know, how _do_ you make a Venetian Urn?
1st man: (Pause) ... I'm sorry, I appear to have made a mistake.
(Mike Taylor)
1st man: My frog's got no nose.
2nd man: How does it smell?
1st man: Frogs can't smell.
(Mike Taylor)
1st man: My dog, who incidentally had no nose, died yesterday.
2nd man: How did he smell?
1st man: We shall never know. He died before he could tell me.
(Andy Clews)
1st Restaurant owner: My dog he die yesterday.
2nd Restaurant owner: How do he smell?
1st Restaurant owner: Don't know, but customers think he taste pretty good.
(Country of origin omitted here for sake of international relations)
(Andy Clews)
1st Circumlocutionist: I have in my possession an animal belonging to
the family Canidae, and it appears that he does not possess any
extra-facial olfactory organs.
2nd Circumlocutionist: Could you therefore impart to me such knowledge as
may be necessary to describe how that animal circumvents the problem
of satisfying his olfactory senses?
1st Circumlocutionist: Unfortunately the non-ambiguity of your enquiry does
not easily permit me to provide a clever answer, but I am in fact
thinking of referring the animal to an olfactologist. However, the
animal does have a fairly unpleasant body odour, should you be
interested.
(Andy Clews)
Cannibal Dog: My dog's got no nose.
(Mike Lessacher)
Senile old fool: My dog's got no nose.
Young delinquent: Why is that?
Senile old fool: He's been dead for 30 years.
(Mike Lessacher)
Senile old fool: My dog's got no nose.
Young delinquent: Why is that?
Senile old fool: I've been dead for 30 years.
(Mike Lessacher)
