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• Contributed by Steve Kufer, who attended the event.
  Here are highlights from Comedy Celebration Day on July 31, 1988 in San Francisco....
• Classic Quotes "I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, You'll never find anyone like me again.
  I'm thinking, I should hope not. If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?...
• ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS You’re in luck. As my luck would have it, I made my bones in a musical family.
  Grandpop slapped ivories at the Congo, and Daddy-O moonlit his rocket ‘88 in the lizard lounges....
• A very fancy lady went to the doctor complaining that she was passing a great deal of gas.
  She told the doctor, "It doesn't make any noise or odor, but it's very embarrassing because I entertain a lot, and I know I'm doing it"....
• There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him the facts of life.
  So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local brothel to have a good time....
• ObJoke: This guy goes to Texas on vacation. (No, that's not the punchline.
  ) When he's ready to leave the airport, he hails a cab, but a stretch limo pulls up....
• Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
  I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....
• Syadov walks into the Moscow health clinic and asks to see an ear-and-eye doctor.
  The nurse explains to him that there isn't a specialist in those two areas at the clinic, but tells him that they have an eye-doctor AND an ear, nose, and throat man....
• Learnign to share There was a man and woman that were married.
  And the man had a problem with referring to everything as his instead of theirs....