Related:

• Source: A Dutch cook-book Maitre de Cuisine (Chief Cook) of a famous restaurant to a salesperson in the Stationery Departme
  "Do you have 97 of these 'Get Well Soon'-cards ?...
• Hello. Lindsey's not home now--this is his domestic droid speaking.
  I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.
  UUCP Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren't here right now but if.
  .. Matt: Steve, what are you doing? Steve: I'm leaving a phone message since we aren't here....
• Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name .
  ..", etc....
• Parking in the driveway after their first date, Steve leaned over and gave Wendy a wet, passionate kiss.
  When she responded warmly, he unzipped his fly and pulled her hand to his wang....
• The Interview Steve was in a terrible accident at work.
  He fell through the floor tile and ripped off both of his ears....
• Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.
  I play golf even though I hate it. I'm not done with a game yet....
• Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away.
  Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer....