I thought you'd all like to hear about the potential candidates meeting
with the Wizard of Oz...
First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have
no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart".
So the Wiz said,"So be it".
Second was Dan Quayle. He said to the Wiz, "People think I'm unintelligent
and have no common sense what so ever...I wish to have a Brain".
The Wiz said, "So be it".
Third was Ross Perot. "People say I have no confidence and I lack conviction...
..I wish to have some Courage".
And then Bill Clinton approached the Wizard.
The Wizard looked at him, and said, "Well, what do you want?"
To which Clinton replied, "I'm here for Dorothy!"
Those who say the Gang of Four in China are dead have been proven wrong by
the presense of Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, Tom Foley, Richard Gephardt,
and George Mitchell together in Little Rock last night. Let's hope there is
no conservative student rally in Lafayette Park or they will send in the only
tank of the U.S. Army on them.
Hiliary stopped using her maiden name when she found out from Gennifer who
the REAL Rodman was.
Q: What was Bill and Chelsie Clinton doing in the voting booth?
A: Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics, how to sc#$w the people!
It has finally happened. The uneducated finally voted. I can't think of
anything funnier than what happened on Nov. 3, 1992. I heard this on the
news, honest, Mr. Bill "Why no, I didn't inhales, why do you ask?" Clinton
received more than 50% of the votes from people who did not graduate
highschool.
Sorry, but that does not make me feel comfortable.
I find it very difficult to believe that someone would vote for a person who
committed adultery, and lied, about the same thing, three times! This is
living proof that christian, or even pseudo-christian, morals have no place
in America.
Cudos to those for the funniest laugh I have ever had.
1) So what if Bill did it with Jennifer or Gennifer or
whatever her name is? A little playfulness doesn't seem to have
affected John F. Kennedy's standing as one of the great Presidents of
our history.
And in order to live up to his standard, if Clinton is elected, I guess he'll
have to fuck Madonna and get the CIA to stage her "suicide".
I thought you'd all like to hear about the potential candidates meeting
with the Wizard of Oz...
First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have
no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart".
So the Wiz said,"So be it".
Second was Dan Quayle. He said to the Wiz, "People think I'm unintelligent
and have no common sense what so ever...I wish to have a Brain".
The Wiz said, "So be it".
Third was Ross Perot. "People say I have no confidence and I lack conviction...
..I wish to have some Courage".
And then Bill Clinton approached the Wizard.
The Wizard looked at him, and said, "Well, what do you want?"
To which Clinton replied, "I'm here for Dorothy!"
What is the difficulty with writing a PDP-8 program to emulate Bill Clinton?
Figuring out what to do with the other 3K.
From The Wall Street Journal, 11/19, page one (reprinted w/out permission)
"Reality Sets In: Clinton Advisors Find
Promises are Easier to Make Than Keep"
----
"They are Drawing Up Lists of Tax Increases and Cuts in
Entitlement Programs / One Target: Big Corporations"
----------
"WASHINGTON -- Bill Clinton's advisors are already realizing that campaign
promises are easier to make than to keep. During the campaign, Mr. Clinton
promised not only to shield the middle class from tax increases but to cut
their taxes. He promised to halve the deficit in four years. He said his
rivals -- not he -- were the ones who would slash government benefits that
go to the middle class.
"...But now, a sobering reality is sinking in... the president-elect's new
economic transition team, headed by Harvard Prof. Robert Reich, is drafting
lists of spending cuts and tax increases -- euphemistically described as
'loophole closers' -- that go well beyond those in the economic plan set
forth during the Clinton campaign. One juicy target for new taxes: U.S.
corporations. A potential source of big spending cuts: the costly,
fast-growing 'entitlement' programs, many of which shower benefits on the
middle-class people Mr. Clinton promised to protect.
"...Simply put, Mr. Clinton has to decide -- much as President Bush did four
years ago -- whether to break his campaign promises early on, when he has the
most political capital, or later, when he might hope the public has forgotten
them.
"...many budget experts in both parties -- and some of them under
consideration for senior posts in the Clinton administration -- say it is
almost impossible to exempt the middle class from pain and reduce the
deficit substantially." [Quoted is Alice Rivlin, former head of CBO, said to
be under consideration for a 'top economic post.']
"...Rep. Leon Panetta, a California Democrat and House Budget Committee
chairman, says, 'If you're putting together a significant deficit-reduction
package, the middle class is going to carry part of that burden. There's no
way to avoid that."
"In another warning suggesting that he is thinking more seriously about the
deficit, [Clinton] recently said that 'all have to sacrifice and contribute
over the long run.' When pressed about his promised tax cut for middle-class
families [as published by the Clinton campaign; it's on paper], he didn't
exactly offer any guarantees..."
So the issue before us is this: Clinton's team has only NOW stumbled upon
the numbers that his opponents (and some media) were pointing to, all during
the campaign? The same facts, figures, and statistics that his team is now
using as a basis to break their promises are not new; they were available to
ANY citizen at ANY time during the campaign, in any dime-store almanac -- and
obviously ignored by the Clinton team.
In fact, the article includes a table -- again, available to any citizen who
cared to know the truth -- showing that families with incomes below $80,000
(the class Clinton promised to protect) accounted for 75% of the personal
income reported to the IRS in 1990. How can Clinton et al pretend that these
numbers didn't exist during the campaign?
One can only conclude that Clinton and his were completely ignorant of
reality -- and/or that they lied outright.
Four doctors, a German, a Frenchman, a Russian, and an American are
discussing state of the art medicine at an international doctors convention.
The Frenchmen proclaims "Ahh, medicine in France is so advanced that we can
put a liver in a man and have him back to work in 6 weeks."
The German says "That's nothing. In Germany we can put a lung in a man and
have him back to work in 4 weeks."
The Russian says "You guys know nothing about medicine. Surgery in Russia is
so advanced that we can take half a heart from one man, put it in another, and
have both out of bed and looking for work in 2 weeks."
The American doctor just shakes his head. "You are all so backward. We can
take an ***hole out of Arkansas, put him in the White House, and the very next
day half the country will be looking for work!"
Which is worse, a Vice-President who can't spell or a President who can't add?
Two guys are sitting at a bar talking politics when one asks the other what he
thinks Clinton should do with the abortion bill.
He replies "I think he should pay the damn thing."
This is a true fact. Shortly before Bill Clinton took the inaugural oath
of office, the band struck up the theme song from Monty Python.
If this was actually programmed by Clinton's staff, it may forbode an
interesting four years. Alternate theory: some undergraduates from
Caltech swapped the band's sheet music.
