Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away.
  Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer....
• Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away.
  Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer....
• Theme from "Indiana Jones" in the background.] You've reached the residence of John and Tom.
  We can't come to the phone right now, because we're cleaning the refrigerator....
• imitating Mr. Rogers] "Hello. I'm in the Magic Kingdom right now, so I can't come to the phone.
  Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone?...
• Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes are busy.
  After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an asshole return your call as soon as possible....
• Hello this is the (Last Name) residence, we're in the middle of a family fight right now.
  Leave your name a number at the beep and whichever one wins will call you right back....
• Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.
  After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....