Related:

• Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now
  o after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following word...
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes are busy.
  After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an asshole return your call as soon as possible....
• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
• Looking for a good time? Call 1-900-555-1212, and speak to the most beautiful operators West of the Atlantic!
  Hear them say "What city please, big boy?" They'll get you hot, asking you "What's the party's name, you luscious piece of man-meat?...
• imitating Mr. Rogers] "Hello. I'm in the Magic Kingdom right now, so I can't come to the phone.
  Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone?...
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway's not here right now
  but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible....