Related:

• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• How do you get an elephant to follow you? Act like a nut.
• Q: How do you get an elephant into a telephone booth? A: Open the door.
• Q: How do you know when there is an elephant in the bath with you?
  A: You can smell the peanuts on his breath....
• Q: How do you get down from an elephant? A: You don't, you get down from a duck.
• Hunting an Elephant ATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.
  EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise....
• One Liners If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer....
• How do you get an elephant on top of an cherry tree? Stand her on an cherry and wait fifty years.
• How do you get an elephant into a matchbox? Take out all the matches first.