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  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• Syadov walks into the Moscow health clinic and asks to see an ear-and-eye doctor.
  The nurse explains to him that there isn't a specialist in those two areas at the clinic, but tells him that they have an eye-doctor AND an ear, nose, and throat man....
• A doctor on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients behaving rather strangely.
  The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud noises not unlike a Kenworth....
• This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
  There was this girl driving along the highway, when she suddely had to visit the restroom....
• I thought you'd all like to hear about the potential candidates meeting with the Wizard of Oz.
  .. First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart"....
• A man goes to the psychiatrist a nervous wreck. The shrink tells him to sit down and explain his problem.
  He says, "Well, doc, I keep having this dream where I am at this party full of people and I look across the room and there is a beautiful blonde woman and she walks over and our hands touch and instantly we are alone in a room, naked....
• A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.
  As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest....
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