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• A great trick I have gotten away with many a time requires a little preparation, simply to go to the grocery and get a few packages of Kool-Aid.
  Then while your 'prey' is away, simply spread it nice and liberally into his bed, best if done in stripes, to leave his body in different colors....
• N Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
  Motorcycles' curves never sag. Motorcycles last longer....
• How many rec.humor posters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  1) 1000. And they change the same bulb over and over and over again and still no one notices it's been changed so they change it again and again and then they even discuss it and then someone flames them for not doing it in rec....
• There was this guy who got a job selling toothbrushes.
  He set up his booth on a street corner, and the first week he sold 10 toothbrushes....
• To refuse to decide is a decision.
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• RESIGNATION AS AN ADULT... I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
  I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again....
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death