Related:

• IDIOTS *GOING* TO PRISON A woman was reporting her car, which she had been attempting to sell, as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it.
  The policeman taking the report called the phone, and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car....
• MEGA MORON AWARDS Not quite stupid enough for the Darwin awards but they are working on it.
  A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change....
• Here are some of my favorite jokes from the HBO special Jackie Mason On Broadway.
  Keep in mind that Jackie is a former rabbi. His father and two brothers are also rabbis....
• Dumb & Dumber ** A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
  A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants....
• Crime has left a wretched taste in the mouth of a young thief.
  Seattle police said the 14-year-old made a tactical blunder while attempting to siphon gas from Dennis Quigly's motor home last Tuesday....
• Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
  After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up....
• A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor.
  He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?...
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• Honest ocifiscer, it followed me home! A man went to a party and had too much to drink.
  His friends plead with him to let them take him home....