MEGA MORON AWARDS
Not quite stupid enough for the Darwin awards but they are working on it.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a
crime committed?]
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a
gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F _ _ _-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over
laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his
gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief
ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the bank later put a
plaque on the wall engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a fxxk-up!"
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I
stole the purse from."
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a Seattle
street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A
police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his hose into the motorhome's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of
the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh
he'd ever had.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a
chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of
pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off
their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain
still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the
chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. A
woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car
phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone, and told the
guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy
the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
