The Top 15 Things Overheard in Roswell, NM, This Week
15> "Man, I coulda saved NASA a heap o' money. I done been to Mars
and it ain't nuthin' but a buncha rocks."
14> "Isn't that Larry King down on one knee with that alien?"
13> "Alright, everyone, listen up: Heaven's Gate cult freaks in
this line, drunk rednecks in this line, and X-Philes and
Trekkies over there."
12> "Fifteen bucks to view an alien colostomy bag?"
11> "False alarm, everyone, calm down! And you two, put that
Frisbee away, for cryin' out loud!"
10> "Better get another case of aluminum foil and some more wire --
these Genuine Alien Artifacts is sellin' like hotcakes!"
9> "What they *also* won't tell you is that one of them Kennedy
boys was a-drivin' when they crashed."
8> "Hey, Dude, when does Garcia start playing?"
7> "They're *not* dead! I'm telling you... Kurault was driving,
Sagan held me down and Cousteau worked the probe!"
6> "...And when the alien returned our son to us, he left us this
lone sequined glove."
5> "So then they took me onto their ship and probed me. And like
a fool, I believed it was 'special' and they would 'call me.'
Aliens are scum, Marge -- When am I gonna learn?"
4> "...and I hear they's the ones what gave us Cheeze Whiz."
3> "Programs, getcher programs here! Can't tell the cover-ups
without a program!"
2> "Hey, Eunice, pass me the Sterno."
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Roswell, NM, This Week...
1> "Hey there, Sweetness. How'dya like a close encounter of the
Earl kind?"
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
