14> The powder on your fingers sets off the airport metal detector.
13> You're actually attempting to borrow money against the
possibility that Bob Redford will want to sleep with your wife.
12> Your name is H. Ross Perot, and you just lost the entire State
of Texas at the roulette wheel.
11> You start calling every black guy you see "Huggybear."
10> Between the showgirls and the slot machines, your right arm
looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger's, and your left arm looks
like Arnold Horshack's.
9> You've started to think LeRoy Neiman is tasteful.
8> You can now tell time based on which dealers are working.
7> Your week just isn't complete until Rip Taylor showers you with
confetti.
6> They used to throw you panties from Victoria's Secret when you
performed, but today they're more like Queen Elizabeth's secret.
5> You've got yourself one nasty case of neon burn.
4> The hookers you date begin looking less and less like Elizabeth
Shue, and more and more like Elizabeth Dole.
3> You find yourself walking out of the $1.99 Circus Circus
breakfast buffet with scrambled eggs dripping from both pockets
and a slab of bacon warming your crotch.
2> You got 10 grand for your daughter last week; you're not so
optimistic about your son.
and the Number 1 Sign You've Been in Vegas Too Long...
1> Siegfried still leaves you cold, but you're beginning to think
that Roy is one hot potato.
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
