10. Promoting his line of "Yeltsin's Own" 200-proof salad dressing
9. Says he's "Had it up to here with them Commie Russkie bast****"
8. He and Clinton plan to tour the world as the "All-Stars of
Puffiness"
7. Wants to join Gorbachev in Vegas as a casino greeter
6. The last time he visited Lenin's Tomb, Lenin said, "Time to
pack it in, fatboy"
5. Moving to U.S. to open chain of "Boris's Blintz Shacks"
4. Wants to devote himself to his upcoming Christmas special,
"Boris The Red-Nosed Russian" *
3. Got chosen for the cast of "The Real World: Leningrad"
2. Going to Space Station Mir to find out what zero gravity feels
like when you're wasted
1. The people want Yakov Smirnoff
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