Related:

• A bum walked into a bar and sat down next to a drunk who was studying some- thing in his hand.
  The bum leaned closer as the drunk held the object up to the light....
• PATCHWORK Two drunks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer.
  All of a sudden the driver noticed lights flashing in his mirro...
• A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.
  It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty....
• Three gays are driving around San Francisco, when they had to stop for a red light.
  Unfortunately, the large semi-trailer behind them burned out his breaks on the steep downgrade and slammed into the back of the gays' car....
• Have One On Me! A drunk walks into a bar full of customers and slurs to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.
  So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $...
• Ma fren, you got to read dis joke in yor best Cajun accent, so you sound jus like Justin Wilson when he tell it.
  If you do, it'll be wundermus, I garontee. Der were dese two Cajun buddies at dis bar, and dey wuz gettin drunk, I mean!...
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• Lawyer in the Bar... A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand.
  The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring "Well, it looks like plastic....
• A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand.
  The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light,slurring "Well, it looks like plastic....