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• Childrens Proverbs A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.
  She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest....
• Sayings According To First Graders A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
  He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• BEFORE I CAME TO COLLEGE I WISH I HAD KNOWN... - that it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class I'd sleep right through it - that I would change so much and barely realize it - that you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways - that college kids throw airplane
  oo - that if you wear polyester everyone will ask you why you're so dressed up - that every clock on campus shows a different time - that if you were smart in high school - so what?...
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• Really Important Stuff Kids Have Taught Me 1. It's more fun to color outside the lines.
  2. If you're gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• One Liners Worth Remembering Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soa
  but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I intend to live forever - so far, so good I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...