Related:

• THE POWER USER'S GUIDE TO POWER USERS Power Users never read their software manual
  instead they get petty cash from their secretaries and use it to buy books which contain the phrase "Power User" on the cover....
• Computer Ease! The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000
  1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue....
• WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
  2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on....
• THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!
  ) Monday ------ 8:05am User called to say they forgot password....
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "I'm going fishing.
  Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety....
• USComputer Lexicon By Cornelius Unicorn Beginne
  A person who believes more than one-sixteenth of a computer salesperson's spiel....
• How To Install Software: 1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software.
  It should look something like this: SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS 2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER 628....