Related:

• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• NEW SOFTWARE ANNOUNCEMENT PC WIFE for Dos and Windows For the truly lonely and scandalously ugly men with no chance of ever finding the real thing.
  NOTICE! This is not Freeware!...
• Complete Guide to PARALLEL INTERFACE for the Computer Literate Select your desired CPU and initiate your standard word processing program to determine compatibility of this CPU for interface.
  (Helpful Hint: once CPU compatibility is established, you may wish to determine a password which will initiate immediate interface session signon....
• How To Install Software: 1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software.
  It should look something like this: SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS 2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER 628....
• Computer Dictionary 386: No, 486: Oops, Pentium: The only chip to consider if you're thinking of buying a PC.
  Until Intel ramps up the 686. 640K: The salary the average Wall Street PC analyst pulls in each year....
• BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in 'Our son's computer cost quite a bit.
  ' . BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills....
• What Computer Virus Do You Have? Beware of the following computer Viruses.
  .. Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer....
• YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS... If you did an error-free installation of Windows 95.
  When your modem starts smoking. If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always online....