10. If you use Crisco instead of suntan lotion, you can fry
burgers on your chest
9. "Accidentally" lose trunks in White House pool
8. Show slides of your camping trip on your pasty white thighs
7. Try using a cooling electric fan to shred Whitewater documents
6. Enjoy the refreshing chill when you get in bed with Hillary
5. After a day in the woods, hire a 15-man search party to check
your entire body for ticks
4. Get some exercise dodging subpoenas from Paula Jones
3. Don't go swimming until half an hour after receiving illegal
campaign contributions
2. Make friends at the beach by providing shade with your
enormous a**
1. Leftover gravy + freezer = gravy-sicle! *
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