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• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Top 30 Ways to Simulate Being in the Navy when You're at Home 1.
  Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five....
• Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
  Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
• Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
  ** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at....
• In response to the points list for men. Relationships are two-way streets, you know.
  Simple Duties ============= Don't whine about the bed being made....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• Because I'm a man... ** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the ca
  I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in....