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• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
  There was this girl driving along the highway, when she suddely had to visit the restroom....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• A man became suspicious of his wife. He was convinced that she was having an affair with another man although she consistantly denied it.
  One day he decided to leave work early to try to "catch her in the act"....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket.
  Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide....
• Preface: The person that this is played on must be someone who really deserves it because it takes several people to pull off.
  He must also live on the first floor of his dorm....
• A farmer is about to visit his wife at hospital. He enters (at non-visiting hours), and is asked to sit down and wait.
  After half an hour, he began to be a bit nervous, so he started walking....