Related:

• A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
  He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car....
• THE POWERBOOK THAT LEAKED (A True Story) In 1993, sometime in December, a customer walks in with a dead PowerBook 165.
  Fault description: hangs on startup. An additional symptom provided wa...
• A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
  The bear turns to the rabbit and asks conversationally...
• Various Ways To Say "Having Sex" Bang Be the rug doctor Beaver shooting Been ridin' broomsticks since she was fifteen Bend her over and load her like a shotgun Bit-o-the-ol'-in-out Bite the bearded clam Bob the knob Boink Bone Smuggling Bopping Bottom knockin' Bounce the Brillo Break her open like a shotgun Buff the helmet Buffing Bumping uglies Bury the hatchet Butter her muffin Carpet munching Check her oil Clean the carpet Come to my bed and let's practice parallel parking Cuttin' a slice Dance the buttock jig Dent the egg Dip your wick Do it Do the horizontal mambo Do the Wild Thing Doing it Doing the nasty Dueling Bedsprings Eat at the Y Feed the bear Fenorking Fit pipe Flat Dancing Fooling around Fuck Get a leg over Get your bone honed Get your noodle wet Gettin' Busy Getting you ashes hauled Getting your bunny boiled Getting your canoe shellacked Getting your horns filed Getting your weiner wet Give her the time Giving her a pearl necklace Go like a rat up a rhododendron Goin' horizontal Hammerin' Hawaiian Muscle Fuck (titty-fuck) He hasn't had his tires rotated in months Hide and shriek Hide the HotDog Hide the sausage Hiding the salami Hobble Hose I wanna bust that body I'm having lunch at the Y.
  It's a box lunch - furburgers! I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe Lay cable Lay pipe Lay the hen Let's go "Whale some babes"!...
• Once upon a time there was a snake and a rabbit that bumped into each other in the woods.
  Both were blind. The snake started feeling the rabbit's fur and said, "You are nice and soft, so you must be a rabbit....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• Federal Aviation Administration, Washington, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....