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• A guy walks into a pub with a pig under his arm, and this pig has a wooden leg.
  The guy orders a beer for himself, and a dish of water for the pig....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening
  he was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry....
• So this lady walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm.
  A drunk at the bar looks up and says, "That's the ugliest pig I ever saw!...
• A man was out for a walk one day and on his travels he wandered through a farm.
  Strangely, he saw a pig with a wooden leg! This intrigued him so much he found the farmer and quizzed him about it....
• This guy was sittin' out on his porch. Up the way, he saw his hillbilly neighbor holding up one of his pigs in an apple tree.
  The pig was eating the apples. Whenever the pig got full, he sat him down and got another....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• 100. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
  A: Butter is difficult to spread. 101. Q...
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...