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• Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private.
  I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.
  ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• Private Weston was stationed in Arabia during Desert Storm in a fairly isolated location in the desert.
  After a couple of weeks without seeing a single woman, he inquired to his sergeant about some leave to get some action....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
  If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
• HOW GUYS THINK By Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize Winning Columnist From The Boston Sunday Globe
  August 20, 1989 Today we're going to explore the mysterious topic of How Guys Think, which has baffled women in general, and the editors of Cosmopolitan magazine in particular, for thousands of years....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....