Stuck on an Island
An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on
a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. .....till the
boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no
other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about
four months he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman
he had ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you
come from? How did you get here?" "I rowed from the other side of the
island," she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he
said, "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." "Oh,
this?" replied the woman "I made the rowboat out of raw material that I
found on the island, the oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove
the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
eucalyptus tree." "But-- but, that's impossible," stuttered the man, "you
had no tools or hardware, how did you manage?" "Oh, that was no problem,"
replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there is a very unusual
strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain
temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that
for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. The guy was stunned.
"Let's row over to my place, " she said. After a few minutes of rowing, she
docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked onto shore he nearly
fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite
bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with
an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As
they walked into the house, she said casually "It's not much, but I call it
home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?" "No, no thank you"
he said, still dazed, "can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut
juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a pina colada?" Trying
to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her
couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced,
"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a
shower and shave, there is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the
cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow
ground edge were fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. "This
woman is amazing," he mused, "what next?" When he returned, she greeted him
wearing nothing but vines--strategically positioned-- and smelling faintly
of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she
began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a
very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really
feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these
months? You know... " She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he
was hearing: "You mean-- ?", he replied, "--I can check my e-mail from
here?"
