At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on thewrong finger?" The
other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." The husband replied, "Yes,
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
her.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is
the triumph of hope over experience.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two
girlfriends.
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I
like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants,
provided that his mother-in-law gets double.
The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million Dollars
andbeat me half to death."
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry
done free.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
because the thief was spending less than his wife
did.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
