A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE
Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow
has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married
the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. Marriage
is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman
gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for
it."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most
countries, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I
got married; and then it was too late.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year
married man looks happy - we wonder why.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice it."
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: either the car is new or the wife.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry
done free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
her. - Sacha Guitry
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. -
Jackie Mason
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is
the triumph of hope over experience.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
