More Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots
1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel
after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the
face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off
each other's head.
3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed
its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the
job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory
industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor
injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted,
and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a
chair while watching the film.
4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons,
setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the
time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus
and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book
about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be
copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a
worker confused the copier with the shredder.
7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington, DC, then a few days later
accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out
for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police
officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the
courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand
over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the
police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was
arrested.
10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a
steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard
and brought the vehicle to a stop.
11. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being
smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who
probably deserved to fly as cargo: During the final days at Denver's old
Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was
rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry
passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the
counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST
CLASS!" The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you,
but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work
something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without
hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.
"May I have your attention please?" She began, her voice bellowing
throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT
KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the
gate." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man
glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "(Expletive) you."
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to
stand in line for that, too." The man retreated as the people in the
terminal applauded loudly
