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• Proof By Intimidation ----- -- ------------ A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
  A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Fresh Every 2.7 Days PEE YU PLATTER Clothes Pins Extra HOO FLUNG POO Napkins & Raincoats Provided SUC SUM TIT Children's Special YUNG POON TANG No Take Out Orders Accepted LUNCHEON SPECIALS SUM YUNG CHICK.
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• Never stand between a dog and a fire hydrant!
• Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• THE CIVIL SERVANT'S DOG ----------------------- Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were.
  The first was an engineer who said his dog could draw....