Related:

• Y2K Backup System While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1
  2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers....
• US Army Official Voice Mail Message Thank you for calling the United States Army.
  I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged....
• Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported...
• The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants Teaching Introductory Computer Science Courses for Non-majors LATE HOMEWORK When a student turns in his/her project two weeks late and asks for full credi
  accept the late work and tell them that it will be awarded full credit....
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• LIGHT BULB JOKES Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience....
• Calling Technical Support.... Ring... Ring... Ring.
  .. Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring....
• The Canonical List of Banjo Jokes [No Banjo Pickin' Allowed Around Here] preface Below is the much talked about, Canonical List of Banjo Jokes.
  Much talked about, but never revealed; until now. This presentation is the result of the tireless efforts of an international network of operatives who combed the earth (and beyond) checking and cross-checking sources to make sure that this time we had the real thing...
• Letter to the Bank Manager Dear Bank Manager, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
  By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it....