Below is the much talked about, Canonical List of Banjo
Jokes. Much talked about, but never revealed; until now.
This presentation is the result of the tireless efforts of
an international network of operatives who combed the earth
(and beyond) checking and cross-checking sources to make
sure that this time we had the real thing: the definitive
list of banjo jokes. Some withstood torture--and some paid
the ultimate price: death. So important was our work that
we persevered in spite of the obstacles.
Before proceeding I would like to add a few words of caution.
Banjo jokes are jokes about banjo players, their music,
their instrument, environmentalism, animal rights, human
sacrifice, and interplanetary grave robbing. These jokes
has never been told in their entirety because they are
dangerously funny: no one has ever lived to retell them in
their entirety. we had to taken great precautions to
safeguard our health while compiling this list: each
operative was responsible for a manageably sized module of
the jokes (one not to large as to overcome the individual
with so much mirth that would cause him/her to die laughing.)
As I typed these jokes, I was blindfolded: part of the
jokes were related in various, and obscure languages and
dialects, other parts written, and still other parts
transmitted in braille or Morse code.
Therefore, I caution you to do the following:
1. Under no circumstances should you read any part of these jokes if
you have a heart condition, stroke, or high blood pressure.
2. Form a team, and take turns reading sections of these jokes. If
you find yourself becoming dizzy, or beginning to lose consciousness,
stop immediately.
3. If you have taken recreational drugs within the last 24 hours these
jokes may cause serious health complications.
4. (3) is also true for certain prescription drugs.
5. Refrain from eating, drinking, or engaging in sexual
intercourse while reading these jokes.
6. If you have any questions, please consult a physician before
attempting to read these jokes.
Are you sure you want to read these jokes?
Is your will in order and your life insurance paid up? Is it really
worth the risks?
This is your last chance to exit before being exposed to
the Complete list of 101 Banjokes. These jokes will change
(or end) your life. I cannot give you any guarantees as to
how these jokes will affect you; it all depends upon your
physical and psychological state (which I cannot know.)
Once again, are you sure that you are ready to read the Canonical
List of Banjo Jokes?
This is you last chance!! I mean it! Stop now before it's too late!
God help you and may the force be with you...
Disclaimer: This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters,
places, and incidents are either the product of the author's
imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual
events or locals or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Dedicated to the time and place that is the unique lifestyle of
the banjo player of the '90s in Southern California and the excitement
and freedom that it brings us--it's cheaper than therapy.
How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in, and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out towards a cosmos of nothingness....
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
