Related:

• The Burglar... Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
  He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say...
• Administrative note: Bush's oil company laded quote is from a paper called the "People's Weekly World" A burglar had been casing a particular house for some time.
  Finally, he saw the owners leave for what appeared to be an extended camping trip....
• Jesus and Moses are sitting around Heaven one day, bored.
  Waddya wanna do today, Moses?" Jesus asks. "I don't know," Moses replies....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• The Parrot with A Foul Vocabulary Bill received a parrot for his birthday.
  This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary....
• Jesus and Moses are in Heaven, fishing from a rowboat.
  As they were fishing, they began to reminisce the miracles they performed when they were on Earth....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....