You Might Be From The North West If... (Response to "You Might Be
A Redneck If...")
** Feel guilty about throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
** Use the expression "sun break" and know what it means.
** Know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
** Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
** Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
** Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "WALK" signal.
** Are amazed by accurate weather forecasts.
** Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a
real mountain.
** Complain about Californians, as you sell your house for twice its value
to one.
** Know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
** Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah and Oregon.
** Consider swimming an indoor sport.
** See your golf ball bounce, you know immediately that you've hit the cart
path and not the fairway.
** Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
** In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only
working 8-hour days.
** Obey all traffic laws except "Keep right except to pass."
** Never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
** Are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," or
"Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
** Can't wait for a day with "Showers and sun breaks."
** Have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
** Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best Coffee and
Veneto's.
** Know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
** Can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you can't see through the
cloud cover.
** Say "The mountain is out" when it's a pretty day and you can actually see
it.
** Have more rain gear in your golf bag than golf balls.
** Put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear
your hiking boots and parka.
** Switch to your sandals when it gets above 60, but keep the socks on.
** Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
** Have a heater in your golf cart.
** Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
** Knew immediately that the view outside of Frasier's window was fake
AND.....
** You know you're from the NW if you buy new sunglasses every year because
you can't find the old ones after such a long time....
Editors Note:
Here it is folks, the oneliner file. Over the past year, I have
received several short submissions that were mildly funny, but
not quite good enough or topical enough to merit their own posting....
