Son, Did You Scratch The Car?
Dad - "Son, come in here, we need to talk."
Son - "What's up, Dad?"
Dad - "There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?"
Son - "I don't believe, if I understand the definition of 'scratch the car,'
that I can say, truthfully, that I scratched the car."
Dad - "Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night,
and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?"
Son - "Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the
car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not
scratch it."
Dad - "But your sister, Lisa, has told me she saw you back the car against
the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you
get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes
or no, did you scratch the car?"
Son - "Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it.
Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" scratch the car. I stand by
my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car."
Dad - "Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the mailbox?"
Son - "Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I
mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with
the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent."
Dad - "So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?"
Son - "No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back to my original
statement that I did not scratch the car."
Dad - "But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did get scratched as a
result of this contact?"
Son - "Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way."
Dad - "So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?"
Son - "No! No, that's not correct. Your question was "Did I scratch the
car?" From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that
sentence, I did not scratch the car... the mailbox did... I was merely
present when the scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when you asked
"Did I scratch the car" was legally correct, although I did not volunteer
information."
Dad - "Where did you learn to talk like a complete idiot?"
Son - "Our new neighbor, Bill."
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
