People Who Should Be Phased Out (by George Carlin)
** Guy's who always harmonize the last few notes of "Happy Birthday."
** People over 40 who can't put on reading glasses without making
self-conscious remarks about their advancing age.
** Guys who wink when they're kidding.
** Men who propose on the giant TV screen at a sports stadium.
** Guys in their fifties who flash me the peace sign and really mean it.
** People with a small patch of natural white hair who think it makes them
look interesting.
** Guys with creases in their jeans.
** People who move their lips when I'm talking.
** Guys who want to shake my hand even though we just saw each other an hour
ago.
** A celebrity couple who adopt a Third-World baby and call it Rain Forest.
** Guys who wear suits all day and think an earring makes them cool at
night.
** Old people who tell me what the weather used to be where they used to
live.
** Men who have one long uninterrupted eyebrow.
** Guys who wink and give the peace sign simultaneously.
** People who say, "Knock, Knock," when entering a room and "Beep Beep" when
someone is in their path.
** People who have memorized a lot of TV-show theme songs and are proud of
it.
** Women who think it's cute to have first names consisting solely of
initials.
** People who give their house or car a name.
** People who give their genitals a name.
** Guys who can juggle, but only a little bit.
** Actors who drive race cars.
** Men who wear loafers without socks. Especially if they have creases in
their jeans.
** Athletes and coaches who give more than a hundred percent.
** Guys who still smell like soap even in the late afternoon.
** Guys who wear their wristwatches on the inside of their wrists.
** Any man who wears a suit and a tie to a ball game.
** Guys who flash me the thumbs up sign. Especially if they're winking and
making the peace sign with their other hand.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
