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• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING What he says.
  ...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens"....
• Taglines R Us (January Clearance Now In Progress!)
• WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN OAKIE' AND A DAMN FOOL?
  THE RED RIVER. In Texas, we're proud to have the best politicians that money can buy....
• IN WAKE OF JONES DISMISSAL, A NEW FOCUS FOR STARR WASHINGTON
  April 1 (Associated Press)--In the wake of the dismissal of the Paula Jones sexual-harassment lawsuit, Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr is focusing his investigation on allegations that President Clinton and members of the White House staff regularly drink red wine with fish, according to sources close to the investigation....
• The Top 16 Differences Under President Cindy Crawford 16> War on Drugs joined by War on Dull, Lifeless Hair.
  15> President's residence now repainted and known as the "Teal House" from Labor Day to Memorial Day....
• Fresh Every 2.7 Days PEE YU PLATTER Clothes Pins Extra HOO FLUNG POO Napkins & Raincoats Provided SUC SUM TIT Children's Special YUNG POON TANG No Take Out Orders Accepted LUNCHEON SPECIALS SUM YUNG CHICK.
  .........$6.99 Different and Delicious WON HUNG LO....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...