You Know it's Your Last Day at Work When...
You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you
realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes
into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the
last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss was standing behind
you. It's his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneek in and look at some confidential
imformation on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts
out.
You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week
as vacation, not last week.
You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the
fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?".
You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. Your
underwear is missing. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas
party.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party 0
You stay by her side for a while hen leave to chat
with a college drinking buddy -2
Named Tiffany -4
Tiffany is a dancer -6
Tiffany has implants -8
When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly +1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain"
and pat her on the rump -5
When she points out a hot-looking woman and asks if you think
she's pretty, you say, "Yes, but nowhere near as pretty as you" +1
When she points to a woman and asks if you think she's pretty, you say,
"Yeah, but don't worry, she's lousy in bed" -6
That woman is her sister -90
You have one drink, and that's it 0
You have more than a few and perform the tango with a poodle....