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• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account.
  The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars....