Related:

• When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you it's financially hard to get back on your feet.
• A young attorney was not getting many clients and was afraid that his career was going nowhere.
  All of a sudden, Satan appeared and said, "I've got a deal for you....
• Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury aquitted him.
  Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing....
• LAWYERS *Q.* What do lawyers use for birth control?
  *A.* Their personalities. *Q.* What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?...
• Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury aquitted him.
  Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• Syadov walks into the Moscow health clinic and asks to see an ear-and-eye doctor.
  The nurse explains to him that there isn't a specialist in those two areas at the clinic, but tells him that they have an eye-doctor AND an ear, nose, and throat man....
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....