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• Not from a Redneck: Top 39 things you would NEVER hear a Redneck say eve
  o matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered, and no matter how much the skunks are threatening...
• THINGS YOU WOULDN'T HEAR A SOUTHERNER SAY We don't keep firearms in this house.
  Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer? You can't feed that to the dog....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
  looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
  The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here....
• PAINT IT LIKE A COW The Fair. I hadn’t been to one of these
  “regional events, held annually, consisting of farm and home product displays, and various competitions and entertainments,” since childhood....
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "I'm going fishing.
  Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....