Some Really Dumb Criminals
(Washington DC) Two Men Tried To Pull The Front Off A Cash Machine By
Running A Chain From The Machine To The Bumper Of Their Pickup Truck.
Some Really Dumb Criminals
(Washington DC) Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck.
Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the
bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the
chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the
chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
(Virginia) A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of
cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard
cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
(Washington DC) A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded
all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he
fled--leaving his wallet on the counter.
(Virginia) A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at
customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs
official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The
customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he
does--backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
(Virginia) Oil of Olay no longer turning the trick for her, a woman decided
that she would bathe in the milk of a camel (a modern-day Cleopatra). So she
stole a camel from the local zoo (where *else* can you find a camel when you
need one?) and transported it back to her house--where she realized that the
camel's name was "Otto."
(Maryland) A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western
movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47- year- old woman, who
wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.
(Washington DC): A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600
in damages rather than a serve prison sentence. For payment, he provided the
court a check--a forged check. He got 10 years.
(Virginia): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery,
and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd
forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.
(Maryland): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole--are
you ready for this?--the bank's video camera. While it was recording.
Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the
bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
(Washington, DC): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a
street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then
realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he
could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he
was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help
...
(Virginia): Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a
refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator
from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly
got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator
was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the
refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to
realize that they locked the keys in the truck--so they abandoned it.
(Virginia): A man walked into a 7-11 convenience store, put a $20 bill on
the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving
the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer? Fifteen dollars.
(Maryland) A man is assaulted on the streets of Baltimore. The victim did
not have enough cash to suit the assailant so the victim offers a check to
the assailant. The assailant accepts the check and is promptly arrested when
he attempts to cash it at a local bank.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
