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• TOP 118 REASONS WHY IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A NERD 1) His shoelaces are hardly ever untied 2) Doesn't pick his nose in public 3) Has never put a red shirt in with the whites 4) Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust 5) When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building
  he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor 6) Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married...
• Classic riddles: Scene: A man is found dead in a locked room in a puddle of water.
  Answer: The poor guy died of starvation; the room was locked, right?...
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• AND YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A TOUGH DAY?!! The following is taken from a Florida newspape
  A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen....
• This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
  There was this girl driving along the highway, when she suddely had to visit the restroom....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• Keeping Busy... A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year.
  A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter....
• A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.
  You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that....