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• 37 There was a young fellow named Fyfe Whose marriage was ruined for life, For he had an aversion To every perversion And only liked fucking his wife.
• Asquemish young fellow named Brand Thought caressing his penis was grand, But he viewed with distaste The gelatinous paste That it left in the palm of his hand.
• Ignorance is bliss, but it will never replace sex.
• A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.
  As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest....
• There was a young man from Peru, who fell asleep in his canoe, while dreaming of Venus, he played with his penis and woke up covered in goo.
• A priest and a rabbi, long time friends, were having lunch together one day.
  ] Downing a forkful of fish, the priest asked the rabbi, "Sam, in all your entire life, do you mean to tell me that you have never ONCE tasted pork?...
• A woman walks into her sex therapist's office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it.
  The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug that might do the trick....
• Daffynitions Meter maid: Windshield viper ? Subjec
  Swiftiers "No negroes allowed!" Jim crowed. "You can do it!...
• A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
  Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....