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• Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
  Patient: Do begin with the bad news, please. Docto...
• Did you hear? Ray Charles was involved in a car accident last Friday.
  Ray, in shock, was taken to the hospital. Because of severe injuries, the left leg had to be amputated....
• Doctor to patient in hospital: "Mr Jones, I have some good news, and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
  "Do begin with the bad news, please." "Allright....
• Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
  Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first....
• A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Shortly after he recovers from his an anesthetic his surgeon comes in and tells him
  "Well, I've got good news and I've got bad news for you....
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• DOCTOR: I've got some bad news and I've got some really bad news.
  PATIENT: Give me the bad news first. DOCTOR: Well, you have about twenty-four hours to live I'm afraid....
• The doctor told his patient "I have bad news and worse news for you, what do you want to hear first?
  The patient replied, "What's the bad news?" The doctor said, "Your tests have come back and we've determined that you only have two days to live....